#6

Draco could not resist the allure of Christmas and a chance to make stuff fashionable tacky. He reached towards the tree, "Must.....decorate....tree!"

Remembering another important factor of the holiday, Isabelle reminded Draco of the stockings needed to hang by the chimney with care.

"Don't forget SOCKS!"

Perhaps Draco was drunk--either on alcohol or just himself, it was hard to tell--for he opened his arms wide and yelped, "Big socks!"

Harry then contributed his idea; "Well go get them from Hagrid!"

Draco grinned and threw back his head and yelled to the sky, "Accio big smelling socks!"

The socks came as they were called and ended up on Isabelle's head, who promptly shrieked and demanded that they "get off me" but did not attempt to do it herself.

Harry, who just had to find something to be melodramatic about all the time, stopped the action with the modernized "halt". He shouted, "Hold it!"

He sniffed the socks, ignoring the foul odor and declared, "I smell Dark Magic."

Draco raised an eyebrow skeptically as Harry pointed and muttered, "Evil socks."

Harry poked them once and jumped back. He poked them again and jumped back again. Draco watched him repeat the steps until he was reminded of a dance. A stupid dance at that.

"Well...they're not alive."

Still on her head, Isabelle scoffed.

"Of course they're not alive Harry, or they would have obeyed my command."

Harry ignored her, "But I smell evil in their very stitches!"

Isabelle stomped her foot and screamed, throwing the socks off her head.

Draco, who was laughing on the ground, noticed a very interesting phenomenon. "Hey, these can't be Hagrid's, because they're monogrammed."

He held them up. There was a red, a green, and a silver sock. The red read Slut, the green read Spoiled Slut, and the silver read Poncy Bastard Slut. Harry took the words very seriously as he formulated his theory.

Isabelle fell on the floor laughing when she read the silver sock. "That's yours, Draco!" she shouted quite hysterically.

Harry's theory was complete.

"Those aren't Hagrid's socks! Those are Voldemort's socks!" Without giving his friends time to comment, he continued breathlessly. "The red one is Wormtail's and the silver one is Lucius's!"

Draco and Izzy sat on the floor staring at Harry. Draco was first to speak. "And the Dark Lord's is the 'Spoiled Slut'?" He concluded that Harry was entirely bonkers.

Izzy wondered out loud, "So the Dark Lord and his followers are just like whores following......" now she was at a loss, "an ugly pale guy who looks like a cockroach? Ick."

Harry was confused. "What, you're not worried about evil socks?"

I don't find this one quite as funny. Leave a comment.